The Thing about Running
Running, running, running.
Doesn’t it always fell like you’re running against something?
Running against time, running against your co-workers, running against yourself… It typically starts off at college; you’re running against trying to get better grades, being better than your friends and always comparing grades. Quizzes, exams, projects, it’s all about getting the best grades; who’s smatter. And to what goal? Getting into a better university. OK. I guess it’s a valid reason, but for whom? Are you really sure in tenth grade till you graduate or do IB (International Baccalaureate) you already know what you’re going to study and know that those grades were meant for something?
Awesome. You’re in a good university say for another 3-4 years. Time. More time. You’re running out of it. Oh, and don’t forget it: the better University, the more expensive it gets. More time used + more money used = more stress involved. If you don’t do good for the time you’re there, hey! You wasted A LOT of money! Oh, and by the way, your grades weren’t as good so you won’t get a good job (it’s what they say). Did you already think about your Master’s Degree, and Doctorate somewhere out of your country? Well, doing those will “guarantee” you a better job. Say, you get the job, and that means roughly, give or take, 141.004.800 hours (rough math of 38 years working on the same job for 10 hours a day, not counting weekends) sitting on a desk.
Shouldn’t your job be worth that time? Are you really sure you’re up for running? Are you really using your time to be happy or are you running to meet society’s expectations? Are you sure your future job is intended to give you something to eat, or everyone says that what you’re going to study will give you enough money for food eventually?
Meeting expectations. That’s all most of us are always doing. If you’re not studying you’re not actually being a bum or a hobo, are you? You’re using your time to be someone different and trying to understand what makes you happy. Surely you have to eat, so you have to get up your ass and do something about it. If you’re happy living from making bookmarks for old lady book clubs and that gives you enough money to live decently, well hey! Make the shit out of those bookmarks, bro! But, you’re happy. Did you make something out of bookmarks? Yes, you made old ladies happy, who loved the tag lines they read every time they opened their Fifty Shades of “that guy” and read |YOU ARE AWESOME, OLD LADY| in some 3D looking picture.
Did you need that amount of stress off of college and University, and a master’s and doctorate to understand that what you really loved since university was making bookmarks? I don’t have the answer to that, and probably you wouldn’t have taken so much time struggling with yourself over the fact that none of your family members approved of you making such nonsense when you were supposed to be a doctor or a mortal God. It is not easy living stressed out, nor is it easy to not know yourself from the beginning. Give yourself time to understand what moves you and where do you always go back to.
I haven’t figured it out myself, and I’m always in that ongoing search, but I don’t feel like running is my thing. Personally I want to give back to people from doing whatever makes me happy. I don’t want to sit on a desk for that long amount of time wasting most of it with the little gnome sitting on my shoulder saying to my ear: “Is this what you really want? Are you truly happy? Wake up, bro, the World is waiting for you.”